What went wrong?

I lost sleep for a few nights thinking about this question, and then I moved on with my life. I know that the DNF is not the end of the world, and I am now able to tell people about it without crying. I am returning to the question now because I am going to give Ironman another try in just a few weeks, and I certainly don't want a repeat performance! When I was out on the bike in Coeur d'Alene, I thought I would NEVER do this again, when I missed the bike cut off, well meaning volunteers asked if I had another Ironman on the schedule for this year. I looked at them like they had 3 heads and said NO! One, I would never want to do more than 1 in a year, and 2 they sell out a year in advance, so I couldn't just pick a new race now. (Or could I? More on this later.)

Anywho, on to the race report.

Pre-Race
We arrived in Coeur d'Alene early Thursday afternoon, checked into the hotel, got lunch, and picked up our race stuff. I was feeling good and not nearly as nervous as last year. Friday morning we swam in the lake. It was cold but not unbearable. I think the water temperature was up to about 56* by this point. I wore a rash guard underneath my wetsuit, booties and a skull cap. After the initial shock and after my hands went numb, I was fine. After the swim, we rode our bikes for an hour on the run course just to make sure the bike is in good working order and to loosen the legs up a bit. Check and check.

Saturday morning we swam again. The water was a little warmer so I ditched the rash guard. To simulate race day, we got in and got use the water, swam a few strokes, and then got out to "wait for the gun", then we ran in and started swimming right away. I felt good. The water was much calmer than last year, and I could deal with the water temps. We did a quick, easy run after the swim, and then it was on to the free pancake breakfast in the park. After that, we had to get our T1 and T2 bags and our bikes checked in. It sounds like we should have had lots of free time but not so much. I managed to find time for a turkey sandwich in between the pancake breakfast and gear drop off but didn't find time for a nap like I had hoped.

At dinner Saturday evening, my stomach was a little "off" -- nothing on the menu appealed to me, but I knew I had to eat something. I settled on plain grilled chicken (not on the menu) and mashed potatoes (yum!). We were back to the hotel in time for the fresh out of the oven chocolate chip cookies. I was in bed by 8:30 - 9:00 and asleep shortly after. I woke up once or twice to pee but slept through the thunderstorm. So I'd say I got a good night's sleep :)

A few clouds lingered, but it looked the weather would be perfect. I had my ususal coffee, oatmeal, toast and banana. My stomach seemed fine, except for the standard pre-race jitters. My timing was not great once we got to the race site. I bypassed the bodymarkers because I wanted to put my bottles (which were heavy) on my bike and drop off my special needs bags. The area was very crowded, and I was getting annoyed. I ended up going through the most crowded section 3 times -- not a good expenditure of energy. I had lost most of my friends by then, but Karen and I stuck together. If it wasn't for her, I might of had a major break down. We got in the lake to warm up, and I got hit in the face. Ironman swims are notorious for physical contact. But in the warm up, when I'm just standing there? Really? This woman jumped in and started swimming and just hit me in the face. The good news is that the temperature was reported to be 59.5. I think they said this so we good still wear our booties, which are legal for temps under 60.

The Swim
The gun went off, and I went to work. Well, I waited a few seconds to let all the aggro swimmers go first, and then I got to work. I felt good. I was able to draft off others a little bit while avoiding getting kicked or punched. The first loop was uneventful. The water was a little choppier on the 2nd loop. At one point I swallowed some water, stopped to cough, and thought I might throw up. I did not. I kept swimming. I finished the swim 3 minutes faster than last year. I was happy to be finished but was disappointed with my time. The conditions were not as bad as last year, and I thought I had a better swim than that.

My BFF was volunteering the women's change tent (they wouldn't let her in the men's!) and she helped me get ready for the bike. It was awesome. I let other volunteers slather me with sunscreen, hit the port-a-potty (I tried several times to pee while swimming, but couldn't - I think I need to have my feet on the ground. TMI? sorry), and then I was off.

The Bike
On the first corner out of T1 I saw Laurie's aunt. She recognized me and called me by name. I was touched. Now I can't even remember her name. Jeez! I rode through town, toward the CDA lake loop, watching the riders coming toward me, looking for my friends, and trying to figure out how far behind I was. People were cheering and saying nice things, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't feel like I deserved their praise. I don't know where these feelings came from. I missed a turn. It wasn't a big deal, and I was very soon back on course. When I looped back around and saw where I went wrong, I thought how in the hell did I miss that? I went through about 6 cones. At one point here, still in town, I saw a car waiting to get across the road, and I thought, "just go ahead and hit me and put me out of my mysery." I did not even know that I was miserable until that thought popped into my head. I probably wasn't even 10 miles into the ride, and I was thinking like this? It's gonna be a loooong day.

It wasn't all bad. At about mile 20, I got passed by the pro men. For a spilt second, I was riding with the pros. How many amature athletes can say that? Mike Lovoto said, "good work" as he passed me going up a short, but steep hill. I then turned the corner, and a guy was using a traffic cone as a magaphone and yelled, "charging up the hill ..." (which clearly I was not, especially in comparison to my new friend Mike who just flew by him). I finished the guy's statement with "Trish Ray from Hermosa Beach, California!" He said something about another crazy Californian :) and I continued on my way.

I don't know exactly when it began, but at some point I became aware of gastrointestinal troubles, to put it politely. More crudely, I was afraid of exploding diarrhea, and to make matters worse I was wearing these shorts

This was only my second time wearing these shorts, and I wasn't sure where the light blue ended and the black began. Exploding diarrhea would be bad, exploding diarrhea in light blue shorts would be devasting. A few weeks prior I had a dream where I was running in a downtown area and desperately searching for a bathroom. I had crapped myself (in running shorts) and was looking for a place to clean up. A bit of foreshadowing, I thought, as I wondered if I would make it to the next porta-potty. I stopped at several but never experienced any relief. I was drinking and/or eating every 15 minutes, as I had planned, but I wasn't taking in very much. And I was slowing down. In the end I only drank 3.5 of my planned 8 bottles.

At mile 90 I knew that it was a very real possibility that I would not make the cut off. I thought about stopping. I thought about riding in easy, knowing that I would be done for the day. But I didn't. I rode as hard as I could. Once I got through the hills, I was hit with a head wind. Volunteers were tearing down their aid stations. They still offered food, drink, and encouragment - they knew it was going to be a close call. I could barely look at them, ashamed at my failure, again feeling undeserving of their kindness. But still I fought on, and I thought I had made it. I was surprised and devasted when the man asked for my chip.

Maria was there waiting for me, thank God. We cried. I got my stuff, and we went to cheer on our friends as well as strangers, and I ate a big plate of french fries :)

Next up, Full Vineman on August 2nd! More to come.